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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Hope Machine

Do you know

Can you even see

Who you are exemplifies

A miracle to me

Caught Up in your mystery

Breathing Hope, Breathing hope into me


You are a beauftiful contradiction



These lyrics from "Breathing Hope" by the brilliantly talented Natalie Nicole Gilbert remind me of David in ways that even I'm probably not fully aware of. Everytime I hear this song I see a slow motion video featuring my son in all his unique glory.


I'm not a parent who bemoans the fate dealt to me by whatever power decides to bring a disabled child into one's life. I embrace it. Which is not to say that it's any easier or more difficult than any other parenting experience. I know it's tough. All parenting can be difficult but I can not imagine a more rewarding gift than the love of a child and perhaps more signifigantly the realization that I could love so completely without any reservation or expectation of reward. The reward is in the experience. It's also not my intention to imply that a disability is a gift. It's not, but there are certainly crueler fates to dealt to children on this planet than this. I'm still angry at the thought that David's autism might have been prevented but that's a discussion for another time. Most importantly I love my son and all that he has taught me through his differences and his magic.


David lives in a world where hitting someone out of anger might even be an impossible reaction. His disability frustrates him but he has no hate in his soul, no boundless anger at the cruelty the world, no learned contempt for those different from him. He is pure and I suspect he will remain so for his entire life.


I want to make his life in this world easier. I want him to learn to communicate with others. To fully experience the world as much as his autism will allow. I know one thing though. I will be leading an angel through this world for the rest of my days and he will be breathing hope into this man, his father.


Please visit my friend Natalie Nicole Gilbert at http://www.natalienicolegilbert.com/ and @NatalieNicole on Twitter. I could listen to her music forever.

10 comments:

  1. Wow, that is really beautiful! I can't imagine what it would be like to raise a disabled child but you seem to be coping with it as best you can and not dwelling on it. It wouldn't do any good anyway.

    I cannot wait until I have my own children. It has to be the most wonderful experience a person can have.

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  2. Beautifully done, cousin. Truly.

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  3. So beautiful.

    Thank you for giving us this little window into your (and David's) world.

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  4. As always, it's really inspiring reading your work.

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  5. wonderful as always. I concur on so many points, especially that these special children are a blessing to US, and have taught us things that we would otherwise never know.

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  6. Ok, this time you made me cry. Beautiful. Thank you.

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  7. Brother, what am I going to do with you? Just when I have my tough man wall cast a mile high, I read this and you make it crumble to the ground.

    You're a great father, husband and friend; but more to the point you are a great human! If we had more of you in this world, it would be a whole lot better place.... Plus we would all appreciate a good Wink Martindale joke better!

    Nice Work, as always!

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  8. Wow! What wonderful piece! When do you find the time to gather your thoughts in such a perfect way to express your feelings? Please keep this up!

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  9. Very well written. You are a magnificent guide for the bright soul that you have brought into this world. David is just as lucky to have you, as you are him :). I look forward to future glimpses into this world of yours as David grows, and whatever miracles of humanity they may bring.

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  10. There is nothing like the love of a father for his son. Yours is strong and resonates through your blog!

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