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Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Feeding The Boo Monster !

David likes to eat. A lot. Sadly, he's also allergic to soy so his menu can be a bit limited and we have to make great efforts to ensure that he doesn't come in contact with any of those dastardly soy or soy byproducts. Particularly at school. David also doesn't like to exhibit any of that ridiculous self-control that we silly "neurotypical" people are so hung up on. So we have to keep other people's food away from him too. Fortunately, his teachers and paraprofessionals are well aware of the dangers and likelihoods of the Boo Monster's food pilfering tendencies. The rest of the world ? Not so much.

At the Holidays I have to keep a constant unwavering eye on the Magic Munchkin. He'll attack any untended plate of food with gusto. He's also a big fan of open flames and ash trays. My wife and I quit smoking a while ago which goes a long way against us getting cancer and saves a lot of vacuuming because "ash tray" and " glorious artistic mess " are synonyms to David. The kid's is a master of disaster as artistic impression. We still have to go through a few vacuums a year.

David is also the only person I've ever met who doesn't like chocolate. He'd rather eat paper than chocolate. I have seen literal proof of this. He likes carbs though. Rice pasta and home made bread with peanut butter ? Loves 'em ! Potato Chips ? The best ! Granola with rice milk ? Ah-num-num-num ! He actually says "Ah-num-num-num" by the way .

I think David may be part fish for several reasons. He won't eat fish, he loves water more than anything and he he doesn't realize that you can eat too much. I'm always reminded of the horror stories about tropical fish who are fed too much and die or even worse Mr. Creosote from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. "David if you eat too much, you'll explode !" His expression and manner indicate that if he could speak he might say "Whatever, old man ! Feed Me Seymour !".

When I grow up I want to enjoy food as much as my seven year old son does. That boy knows how to live !

7 comments:

  1. Sounds like he has very healthy tastes. An allergy to soy seems like a terrible hassle. Tofu? No-fu! Oh dear, what a terrible joke. Sorry.

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  2. Great art and disastrous messes are so often one and the same! I'd say you've got a singular young man there! Water=wonderful.

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  3. @Daniel... No, no, no. You're MY Boss. Sheesh... and thanks !

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  4. I think David and I need to go out for Italian soon...

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  5. Oh, I think David and I have MUCH in common! Except for the chocolate thing. But that's quite alright because, more for me! But between us we could murder several bags of chips and Peanut butter sandwiches.

    On a serious note, congrats to both of you for quitting smoking. That's a true act of love for your son! :-) Makes me happy to know you guys did that.

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